


Recruitment

by AnaliseGrey



Series: Standard Operating Procedure [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: AU universe, Clint has a mouth on him, Gen, I Don't Even Know, evilmastermind!Phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 06:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaliseGrey/pseuds/AnaliseGrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The man sputtered and started babbling words that sounded like pleading but were largely incoherent. Coulson blinked, then shot him in the head and turned to the next man in the line. </p>
<p>“You have the same offer as him. I suggest you be more convincing.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recruitment

**Author's Note:**

> I just...I don't even know, really. I was at work, and suddenly the idea of Phil as this evil mastermind popped into my head and continued to ping around all day. And then this snippet happened. So...yeah, I got nothing.

Phil Coulson was nothing if not polite. Yes, there were some aspects of work that might be considered less than socially acceptable, but that was the price of doing business. It was never personal, and he had found no reason not to consider things thoroughly, and in a civilized manner. He kept this in mind as he surveyed the three men standing in front of him, all three disheveled, bloodied, and looking somewhat worse for wear, while his bodyguards stood watch around him.

Turning to the man the furthest to the right, Coulson leveled him with a calm gaze. 

“What I need from you right now is a good reason not to kill you. If you can give me one, I will bring you on with SHIELD and you will work for me. If you can’t, well, your options are somewhat more limited.”

The man sputtered and started babbling words that sounded like pleading, but were largely incoherent. Coulson blinked, then shot him in the head and turned to the next man in the line. 

“You have the same offer as him. I suggest you be more convincing.” 

Rather than say anything helpful, the man was quietly crying and praying to himself. Sighing, Coulson shot him as well then turned to the last man. While he looked a bit nervous, he did look a great deal calmer than the other two had. Arching an eyebrow, Coulson gestured for the man to go ahead.

“I can stay calm under stress, am a fucking awesome sniper, I’m adaptable, and now have a conveniently open schedule. Also, I grew up in the circus.”

This caused Coulson’s other eyebrow to rise.

“The circus? And why is that important?”

The man grinned back. 

“Good back story. It's just sad to kill someone with a good back story.”

Coulson snorted then nodded thoughtfully.

“Fine. I’ll bring you on for a probationary period. If after the first month I’m not satisfied, I reserve the right to kill you.”

The other man shrugged and nodded. “Seems fair.”

Raising his gun, Coulson quickly took aim and shot the man in the leg before turning to go. The man yelped in pain and toppled over in surprise.

“The hell was _that_ for?!”

“Wouldn’t want anyone to think I was going soft. Welcome to SHIELD, Mr. Barton.”


End file.
